I met some great people at CES 2010

As mentioned in an earlier post, CES is becoming a place to meet new people, cement relationships with old friends, and basically network.

For me, meeting up with friends such as Terri Stratton (MobilePCWorld), Michael Reyes (HardwareGeeks), Hector Russo (Geeksroom), and others is one of the highlights.

Dinner with Chris Aarons
Another recurring highlight is dining with Chris Aarons of Ivy Worldwide. Chris Aarons is a Founder and Principal of Ivy Worldwide, formerly BuzzCorps. Ivy Worldwide is (my words) a presence company focused squarely on bringing holistic branding campaigns and programs in social media to companies globally. For which they have won the WOMMIE and HP Circle Awards, among others.

In what has become a tradition at CES, I had the privilege to dine with Chris at Chin-Chin (NYNY Casino).

During the fabulous meal, listening to the innovative things that Chris, Geoff Nelson, Nick White, Tom Augenthaler, and the entire Ivy Worldwide crew are dreaming up was pretty impressive.

How I wish I can tell all y’all what they are doing or about to do!

In fact, I have to make it a point of spending more time with these extremely creative people.

Ivy Worldwide, folks. Lock them into your consciousness, and watch them.

Lunch with Phil McKinney
My luncheon with Phil McKinney, Amy Reardon, and Ann Finnie was another highlight of this year’s CES for me.

I had jumped at the chance to meet again with Phil McKinney when Ann and Amy decided to set up a meet.

Phil is a fascinating man. As CTO of HP’s Personal Systems Group, I am sure he is a technologist. We all are, since entry into technology is low, and easy.

However, it is his views on innovation that has me hanging on to his every word, speech, and slide deck! Rarely do you see such an accomplished person publicly go on record exhorting people, companies, and governments to innovate.

My readers know how I feel about innovation: innovate or die. Or, worse yet, become hopelessly irrelevant.

However, Ann threw a new wrinkle into this: she turned the tables, and interviewed me instead!

I enjoyed myself just taking in knowledge.

Pretty cool.

CntrStg
CntrStg gave a dinner at CES 2010 for a select group. Sponsored by HP and DisplayLink, the dinner refreshed what we knew about DisplayLink and introduced us to a new product by HP that utilizes DisplayLink technology. I have a copy of the device, and I shall bring you my preview and reviews as soon as possible.

At the dinner were:

• Anything but iPod: Grahm Skee;
• Chip Chick: Helena Stone;
• Chris Aarons;
• CntrStg: Kendra Temporale;
• DisplayLink: Dennis Crespo, Jason Slaughter, Seb Hochmuth, Theo Goguely;
• Gear Diary: Judie Lipsett;
• Geek News Central: Todd Cochrane;
• geekazine: Jeff Powers;
• GeeksRoom: Hector Russo;
• GottaBeMobile: Mark Sumimoto;
• Hack College: Chris Lesinski, Kelly Sutton, Mike Bertolino
• HP: Edgar Haren;
• Microsoft: Mike Fosmire
• Mobile Jaw: Mike Temporale
• MobilePCWorld: Terri Stratton
• Mobility Minded: Johan van Mierlo
• Notebooks.com: Amy Zunk, Josh Smith, Xavier Lanier
• Stowe Consulting: Kim Stowe
• swedishtechreport: Micael Samuelsson

I met some of these people for the first time. My gain, of course.

I have also been given a couple of DisplayLink USB devices to give away to users. How should I do this? Send your suggestions to John.Obeto@absolutevista.com

Great People at CES 2010

• Chris Aarons
• Terri Stratton
• Michael Reyes
• Ann Finnie
• Amy Reardon
• Phil McKinney
• Andy Marken
• Hector Russo
• Judie Lipsett
• The Entire HP Crew
• The Entire AR Edelman team
• Jeffrey Powers
• Tony ‘Frosty’ Welch
• And many, many more!

Missed at CES 2010

• Joe Hunkins – He was busy, but we’ll still meet up someday.
• Nick White, Geoff Nelson, Tom Augenthaler: Buzz Masters
• Mauricio Freitas, Eric Hicks, Steve Hughes: if you want to know anything about mobiles, you cannot do better than knowing these guys
• Ash Nallawalla: The SEO Guy!

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Nigerian CTU Issues new rules for Nigerians traveling to the USA

The Nigerian CTU* has issued the following rule to Nigerians traveling to the United States:

• Do not go to the toilet for the whole duration of your flight.
• Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.
• Do not request for a window seat.
• Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.
• If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.
• Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight. Do not look too happy or too sad.
• Do not be too polite to flight attendants.
• Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants
• Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper, or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.
• Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban ,or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.
• NEVER travel with your laptop computer.
• Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair.
• Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker.
• Do not talk to other Nigerian on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.
• Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.
• Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.
• When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.
• Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious.
• Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?
• Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.
• Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.
• Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.
• Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.
• Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.
• Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

A Muslim is defined as :

• Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S. airspace
• Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.
• Anyone that knows what a mosque is.
• Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.
• Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

• Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian. Preferably always travel with your pastor.
• Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.
• Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.
• Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.
• Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)
• YORUBA People: PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may thing you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft

• No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.
• Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided. If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.
• DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.
• Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.
• Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.
• Do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologize profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

And most importantly, only the following apparel must be worn to the airport…

*The Nigerian CTU: The Nigerian Comedic Transfer Union.

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Apple to Microsoft: Our feelings are hurt, hurt!

While I was not privy to the phone call fielded by Kevin Turner, I’m going to assume it took place as follows (the Apple side of the conversation only):

Hello Microsoft,

We would like you to pull your ‘Laptop Hunter’ ads because, well, they are hurting our feelings.

To stay quasi-competitive with PC prices, we have lowered the prices of our laptops by $100, so that we can say that your ads are inaccurate when we complain to the FTC.

We are especially upset at your characterization of Macs as phony elitist computers. That is not true. We ARE elitist computers.

We want you to stop, stop, else we would start with snottograms, and more deadly legalities.

Also remember that our dear exalted leader, Saint Steve of Jobs, is back in the office, and spoiling for a fight to prove that he still has his stuff.

You do NOT want to meet us in court.

Stop the ads, okay?

Apple Legal Department,
1, Infinite Loop
Cupertino, California.

Only Apple would have the brass to complain about hurt feeling after nearly four years of zinging Microsoft with half truths and outright lies with their long-running ad series.

Now that Microsoft seems to have succeeded in performing recto-cranial extraction surgery on their internal, and external d departments, for that matter, and seems to be getting their mojo back, Apple is suddenly scared.

How comical is Apple’s position?

However, I don't blame them. I blame Microsoft for burying its corporate head in the sands of the Puget Sounds these past years and letting the sores that were the Apple ads fester.

UPDATE: Microsoft has pulled the price comparison part of the ad.

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This article previously appeared in the July 2009 issue of The Interlocutor.